- Joined
- Dec 3, 2009
- Messages
- 9,241
- Reaction score
- 273
- Location
- Duncanville, Texas
- My Bike Models
- 1981 GL1100 Innerstate("The Turd")SOLD!!, 1996 GL1500 Innerstate
Here's a few helpful translations if you're in the market for a "new"(to you) vehicle....Just helpin my brothers out... 
If the ad claims...
rough condition...
It really means...too bad to lie about
parts car...
It really means...beyond repair
immaculate...
It really means...recently washed
concours...
It really means...recently waxed
engine quiet...
It really means...if you use 90-weight oil
needs minor overhaul...
It really means...needs engine
needs major overhaul...
It really means...Phone the junkyard
burns no oil...
It really means...(it all leaks out)
rebuilt engine...
It really means...Cleaned the spark plugs.
Drive it away...
It really means...I live on a hill.
Drive it anywhere...
It really means...(within 10 miles)
desirable classic...
It really means...No one wants it.
rare classic...
It really means...No one wanted it even when it was new.
stored 20 years...
It really means...(in a farmer's field)
ran when stored...
It really means...Won't start.
never apart...
It really means...Bolts too rusted/rounded to loosen.
solid as a rock...
It really means...rusted solid
restored, with 0 miles...
It really means...Won't start.
restored, with 2 miles...
It really means...Won't stay running.
older restoration...
It really means...First owner washed it.
good investment...
It really means...Can't be worth much less.
no time to restore it...
It really means...Can't obtain parts.
95% complete...
It really means...Other 5% doesn't exist.
Other interests conflict...
It really means...Spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I go!"
Doesn't smoke...
It really means...when it's out of oil
New slick racing tires...
It really means...I burned the tread down to the belts.
Re-upholstered...
It really means...New K-mart seat covers and floor mats.
Major performance upgrades...
It really means...Bolted a new exhaust tip on the tailpipe.
Kept in garage...
It really means...The scratches are from my cat.
Pampered/adult driven...
It really means...I'm 17 and I think it's about to die.
Complete restoration...
It really means...New Earl Scheib paint.
New paint...
It really means...Don't let it get wet.
Sporty...
It really means...It's got a floor shifter.
Family car...
It really means...There's still food under the seats.
Good school/work car...
It really means...More dents than a golf ball.
Worth $xxx--sacrifice for $xx...
It really means...I can't believe I paid $xx for it myself.
Lots of extras...
It really means...Everything that fell off/out is in the trunk.
Quiet engine...
It really means...You can't hear it over the broken headers.
Traction control...
It really means...Starts moving only in 2nd gear.
Race modified...
It really means...It's got Japanese stickers on the back window.
Exotic...
It really means...It leaves a funny taste in your mouth.
Precision machined...
It really means...I used a degreaser.
FAST...
It really means...-ER than my mom's Geo.
If the ad claims...
rough condition...
It really means...too bad to lie about
parts car...
It really means...beyond repair
immaculate...
It really means...recently washed
concours...
It really means...recently waxed
engine quiet...
It really means...if you use 90-weight oil
needs minor overhaul...
It really means...needs engine
needs major overhaul...
It really means...Phone the junkyard
burns no oil...
It really means...(it all leaks out)
rebuilt engine...
It really means...Cleaned the spark plugs.
Drive it away...
It really means...I live on a hill.
Drive it anywhere...
It really means...(within 10 miles)
desirable classic...
It really means...No one wants it.
rare classic...
It really means...No one wanted it even when it was new.
stored 20 years...
It really means...(in a farmer's field)
ran when stored...
It really means...Won't start.
never apart...
It really means...Bolts too rusted/rounded to loosen.
solid as a rock...
It really means...rusted solid
restored, with 0 miles...
It really means...Won't start.
restored, with 2 miles...
It really means...Won't stay running.
older restoration...
It really means...First owner washed it.
good investment...
It really means...Can't be worth much less.
no time to restore it...
It really means...Can't obtain parts.
95% complete...
It really means...Other 5% doesn't exist.
Other interests conflict...
It really means...Spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I go!"
Doesn't smoke...
It really means...when it's out of oil
New slick racing tires...
It really means...I burned the tread down to the belts.
Re-upholstered...
It really means...New K-mart seat covers and floor mats.
Major performance upgrades...
It really means...Bolted a new exhaust tip on the tailpipe.
Kept in garage...
It really means...The scratches are from my cat.
Pampered/adult driven...
It really means...I'm 17 and I think it's about to die.
Complete restoration...
It really means...New Earl Scheib paint.
New paint...
It really means...Don't let it get wet.
Sporty...
It really means...It's got a floor shifter.
Family car...
It really means...There's still food under the seats.
Good school/work car...
It really means...More dents than a golf ball.
Worth $xxx--sacrifice for $xx...
It really means...I can't believe I paid $xx for it myself.
Lots of extras...
It really means...Everything that fell off/out is in the trunk.
Quiet engine...
It really means...You can't hear it over the broken headers.
Traction control...
It really means...Starts moving only in 2nd gear.
Race modified...
It really means...It's got Japanese stickers on the back window.
Exotic...
It really means...It leaves a funny taste in your mouth.
Precision machined...
It really means...I used a degreaser.
FAST...
It really means...-ER than my mom's Geo.
