Harley Humor

[kirkwilson]

Found this on another site-

Biker Humor
The Difference Between Harley & Goldwing Riders
Harley riders: 'This beer is flat, let's trash the place.'
Goldwing drivers: 'This cappuccino is cold. Let's only tip 10%.'
Harley riders: 'Live to ride. Ride to Live.'
Goldwing drivers:'Eat to ride. Ride to eat.'

Harley riders: 'Loud pipes save lives.'
Goldwing drivers: 'Honey, will you turn down the stereo?'

Harley riders: Black leather jacket and chaps.
Goldwing drivers: Red snowmobile suit.

Harley riders: Black leather vest with chain closure and skull and crossbones on the back.
Goldwing drivers: Gray twill vest with trading pins and Gold Wing Road Riders: Association chapter patch on the back.

Harley riders: Meets other riders at 'The Dam Ice House.'
Goldwing drivers: Meets other riders at Denny's.

Harley riders: Biker mama on the back.
Goldwing drivers: His mama on the back.

Harley riders: Rolling Thunder.
Goldwing drivers: BARCO Lounger with wheels.

Harley riders: Head wrap covering steel plate in the head from riding without a helmet but looking cool.
Goldwing drivers: Full-face helmet with headset and microphones, covered in reflective stickers.

Harley riders: Riding in groups of two like Captain America & Billy.
Goldwing drivers: Riding in groups of twenty pulling trailers.

Harley riders: Ape hangers and a thin, hard seat.
Goldwing drivers: Big wide seats for big wide butts.

Harley riders: Cross-city ride ending at topless bar.
Goldwing drivers: Cross-country ride ending at Dairy Queen.

Harley riders: National riders group gathering called a 'H.O.G. Rally.'
Goldwing drivers: International group affair called a 'Wing Ding.'

Top Ten Reasons Why Gold Wing Riders: Don't Wave Back
10. Wasn't sure whether other rider was waving or making an obscene gesture.
9. Afraid might get frostbite if hand is removed from heated grip.
8. Has arthritis and the past 400 miles have made it difficult to raise arm.
7. Reflection from etched windshield momentarily blinded him.
6. The espresso machine just finished.
5. Was actually asleep when other rider waved.
4. Was in a three-way conference call with stockbroker and accessories dealer.
3. Was distracted by odd shaped blip on radar screen.
2. Was simultaneously adjusting the air suspension, seat height, programmable CD player, seat temperature and satellite navigation system.
1. Couldn't find the 'auto wave back' button on dashboard.

Submitted by Herbert Hill

 

[joedrum]

:beer: :mrgreen: well it can be hard to love wings and stand the heat .....ive played a lot of biker deals and sometimes the only wing there ....most harley guys are great people it just the ones who are paying the big bucks for there ride that are the most bothered :mrgreen:

 

[mcgovern61]

It has been awhile since this post was here (before the crash!) I have Harley friends at church that can laugh and take offense at the same time.

 

[kirkwilson]

Just thought the ' Us against them' mentality was a hoot. Don't want a Harley, wouldn't have bought my buddy's bike if it had been a Harley, and I wouldn't trade my classic 'Wing for anything. To each their own, I guess. Hey, if you want to ride a Harley, ride on, brother. I like my 'Wing! I am going to have to remove the capacino machine, though-

 

[lew1701]

Most HD people are alright. I went to a rally in Shawneetown, IL last summer and was surrounded by big bellied beer guzzlers, I took a little ribbing but it was all in fun. My favorite ones though are the (insert current year here) Sportster riders. They buy the cheapest Harley there is (but usually still more than they can afford) just so the can say they are "real bikers" because they ride a Harley. :smilie_happy:

 

[kirkwilson]

I had a Harley rider give me the arm down wave today at a 4-way- I always pick my nose with my left hand so I couldn't wave back- Sorry, Dude!!!!

 

[dan filipi]

I know a few HD owners here and my Uncles in MN. that say if you don't have a Harley you don't have jacksh@#.

Those same guys say if you want a reliable bike Honda is the best.
I guess it's not OK to have a reliable bike to some.

Arm down wave Kirk, does that mean something different than any wave? Didn't know there was a difference.

 

[kirkwilson]

Dan,

I don't know what it means but that's how they do it around here- stick the left arm down at a 45 angle then open up the hand and wave. I've seen them do it many times to other Harley guys so this guy today was either open-minded or he'd never seen a naked 'Wing before... Bet he's seen somebody picking his nose before, though...

Hey, be safe, do it when you're stopped- I wonder what the statistics are as far as accidents caused by texting vs. nose-pickin'

Kirk

 

[Omega Man]

Arm down is respectful, it's way it's done here. As for Harley...the brand attracts many obsessed with anything expensive and trendy. The kind of person who believes their(and you) only as good as the things they own. And this can be said for many wing owners too, mostly 1800 owners in my experience. I've run into extremely arrogant owners of both.

It's too bad so many motorcycle owners of any brand utterly and completely miss the point.

~O~

 

[AApple]

I get the arm down, palm forward/peace sign from all types of riders around here...at least when I get a wave, that is.

Every now and then I'll get an arm straight out. I don't think it makes any difference, or that it means anything other than "Whazzup, fellow rider". Doubt many can tell what you're riding from as far away as we are around here. I get more waves from the Hardly guys & gals than the Wingers. In fact, I've never gotten a wave/return wave from a Winger around here....'course they're mostly late model 1800s, too, so.... :headscratch:

I remember this post from BC(before crash) too.... :good:

 

[mcgovern61]

An interesting point when I keep hearing about the cost of a new Harley (which I admit I do not know the cost because I have never looked to find out) but an GL1800 new runs $22,000 around here and that is nothing to shake a stick at! :shock:

I only know that because I do go to the Honda dealer for certain parts and always check out the line up. I could not afford to spend that much for a motorcycle! That is more money than I paid for my Ford Taurus wagon with A/C, 4 wheels, seating for 8 passengers and automatic with overdrive..........If I ever had to buy a new bike today, I would be out of the market! I do thank God that I have this old 1100 to keep me on the road and cruising in comfort at an affordable price!

 

[Andyb]

I don't own a Harley, but I liked some of each. I prefer The Dam Ice House to Denny's and I would rather ride to a topless bar than a Dairy Queen(you know, because I am on a diet :shock: ). But, hey, that is just me. :music:

 

[jdegase]

I say toppless dairey queen... LOL
with sugarfree icecream!

ok so I'm dreamin' again.
I get alot of the arm out peace signs... sometimes catch me offguard.
for the most part all bikes wave, and its very cool to get waves from the passangers also.

 

[scdmarx]

I told my youngest one that whenever he see's another motorcycle he's supposed to wave at them. So pay attention and be sure to wave. Next thing I know, these 2 guys turned around and came back. A bit "overzealous" his wave was flagging people down. :doh: oh2:

 

[Dave]

Like they say
'If you own a Honda and a Harley you will always have one that aint broken'

This bike HAS got me laid

103 cubic inch and about 35,000 Ozzie dollars

Rhonda has taken me to get laid but any taxi could have done that

This bike you dont leave unattended anywhere

Rhonda, gets left everywhere, some times for days and she's still there waiting for me

 

[Dave]

The 'Low' wave from HD riders is usually just a chance for blood flow to the hand after 1 or 2 minutes on the ape hangers :cheeky: mine are about 3 1/2 inches below shoulder height and I do 10 or 12 hours a day no trouble but not all HD owners are HD riders many are just HD polishers :smilie_happy:

and I do know a girl who will do topless (and bottomless) and ice cream but it's cheaper to have her without the ice cream :read: :cheeky:

 

[BigAndrew]

I would say half of the bikers i pass do the arm down wave, Cruiser or crotch rocket
I do it to most bikes i pass and i would say 80% of them do it back

Except for bike week in Daytona... Way too many bikes to wave at :mrgreen:

 

[Five]

1. Comb baseball player goatee and mustache
2. Spend 6- hours polishing gaudy chrome pieces. Be sure people can read the �Live to ride�ride to live� statement on gas tank lid.
3. Assure suspension can handle at least 560 pounds of rider
4. Pack cell phone and have tow service numbers programmed.
5. Look in mirror and perfect the �I�m a bad ass mothertrucker� harley riding scowl.
6. Affix tassels from daughters bicycle to handle bars for added gay appearance.
7. Test flashers for when bike breaks down (99% probability)
8. Put on your wrist brace to help carpal tunnel from all of the unnecessary revving
9. Leather pants
10. Gloves
11. Wrap around sunglasses
12. Skull cap (German soldier type for the real badasses). Remember to think about the SAFETY aspect/argument of loud pipes as putting that potato chip on head. The real tough guys here will wear a bandana over their face (some with a skull) to look really scary----ooooh!
13. CAT work boots (new)
14. Leather vest with some �chapter� like: North chapter of pig sucking obese attention whore douche bags with fat ugly loud mouth wives.
15. HD t-shirt (of course). Because everyone needs to know what shop you paid $40 for a $5 hanes shirt at.
16. Remove baffles from pipes so EVERYONE can hear you going 18mph in 2nd gear at redline. Note: Most HD break down before hitting 2nd gear.
17. Starbucks gift card: This is usually your hangout--------------how tough.
18. Call friends with similar ridiculous motorcycle (WW2 outdated technology garbage) and pathetic store bought image (gay pirate from the Castro) attire. Have them ATTEMPT to meet you at the starbucks without breaking down or crashing due to being distracted from looking at themselves in their chrome.
19. Five packs of Marlboro reds to smoke while riding to look extra cool
20. Slam a 6 pack of Zima prior to ride.
21. Saddle bags attached to pick up and store broken parts that fall off bike as you ride/push (if you can call it riding without laughing) that hunk of s :sensored: t down the road.

(edited for language-AApple)

 

[scdmarx]

Mmmmmnnaw......not gonna do it.

 

[sledge]

well as for the Biker Wave ........ I was riding in the late 60's and early 70's , and for about 5 years I didn't even Own a Car . I rode everywhere I went on a bike. Back then , the wave was the ( Brothers in Arms ) wave .... Left arm like you would give a right hand turn signal in a car, with you hand closed into a fist. and in those days riders really ment it . Riders around here back then had all watched the movie Easy Rider , and all the Biker Chick flicks........ back in those days Harleys wasn't much to talk about ,that was before they rubber mounted the Harley Motors . when the CB750 Honda & the GT750 Suzuki and the Z1 900 Kaw came out ...... there wasn't much a Harley rider could say , because if he knew anything , he knew he couldn't touch any of them in Take Off , Handling , Stopping , or Comfort . but.............he could Still Wave ........ :smilie_happy: